Is Love That Blind?
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Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow
The first twenty minutes turned out to be perfect training for the role of senior executive in our company - Rosalind mercilessly berated us for our lack of foresight, pathetic planning, useless organization etc.
We stared silently at our blotters, like a group of sixth formers who have been caught smoking in the common room.
Once or twice I heard Ella sigh rather more loudly than was diplomatic.
Rosalind didn’t notice and reached a crescendo: “How many of you are properly prepared for the winter?
“How many of you have a full set of snow tyres ready in the garage?”
No one was prepared to lie that blatantly. We all shook our heads.
“Precisely!” she said.
“Er...but isn’t that the point?” Someone was speaking. Oh Lord it was me!
Rosalind gave her thin, humourless smile. She likes her victims to wriggle about a bit before she finishes them off.
“Yes, Oberon?”
“Well, if you lived in northern Canada or somewhere and you could reliably expect three feet of snow from October to April then obviously it would be worth investing in snow tyres.”
The smile was colder than a Saskatchewan blizzard.
“But in the UK such an event would only happen every 50 or 100 years so you have to decide if it is worth it.”
By now an arctic gale was rolling across the frozen wastes of the Yukon. But I was too far into this particular snowdrift to turn back now.
“And the same goes for this severe weather planning idea. We could spend an inordinate amount of time and money planning for something that may not happen for a hundred years! Couldn’t the money be better spent?”
She chopped me off at the knees. What I failed to appreciate, apparently, was the unique competitive advantage a severe weather plan would give us over our rivals.
While they were snowed in, we would be servicing our customers, presumably using the fleet of brand new snowploughs we had kept in our garages for the past century awaiting this very opportunity.
I bowed to Rosalind’s superior wisdom. Ella snorted loudly.
Rosalind didn’t notice. She’d been at it for an hour now and was still going strong. She looked slightly flushed. Had she been at the sherry?
Then a terrible, awful, mind boggling thought struck me. Perhaps she was showing off to Ella?
Perhaps - I swallowed hard - she even fancied her?
The horrible possible complications of this scenario made my head spin. I stared miserably at my blotter.
“You Britishers make me laugh, you really do. The merest dusting of snow and you all give up and everything grinds to a halt.
“Why, only this morning I was on the phone to a former colleague who lives in Helsinki. She had a good eight inches last night and everything carried on as normal.”
Without missing a beat Ella said: “Eight inches! Lucky girl! Tell her to give us his phone number. He sounds my kinda boy.”
There was a stunned silence. I looked at Ella appalled. She was grinning and giggling to herself.
Outbreaks of giggling began to break out around the table. Ian was stuffing his tie into his mouth to stop himself from laughing.
Rosalind was the last to get the joke.
“Thank you Ella. But that sort of comment isn’t really appropriate in this forum.”
“Oh keep your knickers on Roz, it was only a little joke.”
Rosalind winced as though she had been punched.
“Please Ella, not ‘Roz’. Never ‘Roz’. Always ‘Rosalind’.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
It struck me that this wasn’t Ella’s normal crashing insensitivity to other people. This was a deliberate wind up.
As soon as the meeting finished I cornered her in the corridor.
“What the bloody hell are you playing at?”
“What?”
“In there with Rosalind.”
“Oh that. Well, she was really getting on my tits. ‘You Britishers’ – who the hell does she think she is?”
“She thinks she’s your boss – and mine – and he holds your future in her hands.”
“Ah well,” she shrugged her shoulders and brushed past me, “I don’t much like Vauxhall Vectras anyway.”
Happy New Year everyone.
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To date 9 Comment(s)
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(1.1.04 17:12)
: ) happy new year. great story, shall i assume Ella's on her way to helsinki?
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(2.1.04 14:45)
happy new year , thanx for the comment, only problem i have is trying to keep them.i love your blog!
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(2.1.04 22:15)
Lol, very entertaining story!  I see what you mean, here in Canada we are always prepared for the snow.
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(4.1.04 12:04)
I know Ella's been the bane of your life on more than one occasion, but I really think that this time she's earned a few brownie points ......
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(4.1.04 22:57)
clansoup (great name by the way) - yeah, do easyJet fly there?
clanger - happy new year to you and thanks.
char - (do you know that char means tea in blighty? As in a nice cup of char?) Roll on the spring.
Pog - yes, and life would be much duller without her.
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(5.1.04 00:13)
3 things. 1> Ella sounds rather cool. 2> I'd hate to work there 3> Happy New Fucking Year Mate!
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(5.1.04 00:48)
Oh dear, oh dear. Sounds like Rosalind has missed the lessons on marginal calculation and return on investment. (Wonder if the attitude is linked to the name I worked with a Roz once who was a bully whose favourite motivational phrase was "do you want to carry on working here ?").
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(5.1.04 22:44)
good girl Ella, theres nothing like a case of foot in mouth to stop you getting there, Please keep looking after her.
Happy New Year
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(6.1.04 23:52)
Lol, it's funny that "char" means tea! ha! I'm a cup of tea! hee! Wow, I can't wait to tell my friends what I learned!
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